goodrelationships.co.uk

Mark sought my help because he was thinking of leaving his wife, Linda. He had not been feeling in love with Linda for a long time, but they had two children and he really didn’t want to break up the family.

“Mark,” I asked, “Were you ever in love with Linda?”

“Yes, at the beginning of our relationship.”

“Then what happened?”

“Linda seemed to get really insecure once I started my new business and had long work days. Even though I think I gave her a lot of attention on the weekends, she started getting angry pretty much every day. Then after our son was born, she seemed even more unhappy and irritable. She gets mean when she’s angry and I just don’t find that appealing. I don’t feel close to her anymore.”

“Have you said anything to her about this?” I asked.

“No,” he replied. “She already seems so unhappy. I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“So how do you handle it?”

“I guess I just sort of shut down and pretend that everything is okay. But I’m spending more and more time at work because I don’t like being at home and recently I met another woman that I’m attracted to. I realize I’ve got to do something about this.”

“Do you really think that leaving her will cause less hurt than telling her your truth?”

“Well, if I just leave then I don’t have to deal with her hurt.”

“Mark, that’s a lack of courage and integrity. And you have two children to think about. You once loved Linda and it’s possible that you could again, but only if you are willing to be honest. You need to give Linda a chance to deal with this. She has no idea what’s going on. She might decide to deal with her anger, or she might not, but at least give her a chance to make that decision. And relationship problems are never one-sided. Perhaps she has things to say to you too.”

Mark decided to tell Linda the truth, even though he was really scared. He told her that her anger was pushing him away, and that he didn’t like being home anymore because he felt so blamed and controlled by her. He told her that he was attracted to another woman who was treating him with kindness and caring, and that he wanted this from Linda. He told her he had been thinking of leaving and had sought my help and that I told him to tell the truth. He asked her if she would join him in counseling.

Linda was shocked. She had no idea all this was going on with Mark. She thought she was the only one feeling so unloved in the relationship. At first she reacted exactly as Mark feared, with anger, hurt, and blame. But he told her the truth about this too – that he had been afraid to be truthful with her because of this reaction, and that if she wanted the truth, she need to be open to it rather than closed and angry. Finally Linda heard him and they were able to talk honestly for the first time in years. Linda was actually relieved at hearing the truth, once she got over the initial shock and they were able to talk. She agreed to counseling.

In counseling, Mark discovered that Linda also had been afraid to be honest with Mark, fearing that he would withdraw even more. She was just as afraid of his withdrawal as he was of her anger. They discovered that both of them had been protecting against their fears rather than being open to learning with each other. As they both opened to learning, the love gradually came back into their relationship.

People often believe that they are withholding their truth to spare their partner pain, but their real intent is to protect themselves from the response they fear. Protecting against pain – with anger, withdrawal, and blame - will always bring about the very pain we fear, while opening to learning and speaking our truth opens the door to love.

Need help from an expert? Meet the man who has been on Opera and has helped thousands in their relationships. Click here

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. All couples go through rough times and experience difficulties in maintaining a healthy relationship. However, there are some who do not take these as a challenge and so they easily let go and end the relationship for good.

Ending the relationship is not always a best solution when conflicts arise. Conflicts are normal part of the relationship and these even make the relationship stronger and test your love for each other. If you end the relationship sooner, it only goes to show that you have a weak foundation and your feelings for each other are not that intense. So, when you encounter problems in the relationship, the best thing that you can do is to seek relationship help.

Relationship help is very much available on the Internet nowadays. More and more relationship counselors have taken advantage of the power of the Internet to reach a wider market that is in need for relationship help. But since there are lots of options available, you have to make sure that you choose a reliable adviser for you, one who really has the experience and the commitment to serve other people who long for a rewarding love life and great relationship.

There are several ways where relationship help can be provided. These can be through significant tools for positive change, personal coaching, and retreat for couples. Because of the Internet, these are very much available for easier access and more convenience. You need not to leave the comfort of your home or office just to inquire and avail of all these. By simply browsing through sites, you can now seek relationship help in minutes.

Nowadays, there are lots of books about relationships that can be purchased in local stores and online. These books include articles about improving relationships, different advice from marriage and relationship counselors, and success stories of couples who overcome very difficult times in their relationship. These books can help you a lot in assessing your relationship problems as well as yourself in order to figure out the best solution to undertake. Aside from that, these books can also help you stay on a positive track and are essential if you want a truly rewarding partnership.

Personal coaching can also play a significant role in providing relationship help. You can check online for a site that offers a coaching session for couples. This session can help you have a healthy, joyful, and rewarding relationship. After the session, you will sure gain clear insights about resolving relationship issues and you will learn new strategies to make positive changes even if you are in very rough times.

If a personal coaching session is not the thing for you, then you can always opt for a retreat. By spending a week with your chosen relationship counselors, you can really seek relationship help. A retreat for couples is often held in an intensive and supportive place to achieve profound results. A concentrated weekend program is included to really transform your relationship. When you get home, you will really feel that your relationship is renewed and the romance is rekindled.

All these ways can really provide you with effective relationship help that gives positive results. You should keep in mind to seek relationship help as soon as you see a first sign of trouble. This will help you resolve the problem sooner and avoid much bigger conflicts in the future.

Need help from an expert? Meet the man who has been on Opera and has helped thousands in their relationships. Click here

Relationship commitment. A lifelong goal for some, and others, a thought that puts shivers down their spine. While many would love to settle down and grow closer to someone over a period of years, the thrill of the chase is much more satisfying for everyone else.

Growing up, meeting someone, and getting married is a natural progression for most of the population. Albeit a dwindling past time now in the twenty first century. Marriage is becoming less popular while divorce rates increase periodically. Looking for Mr or Mrs right, finding them, and settling down, and bring up a family is a fantastically rewarding experience.

Meeting the right person is a must for this to be a lifelong enjoyable experience. Does the person want the same things out of life, and will they be willing to go that extra mile to get them. Are they genuine in everything they say? Trust is a major factor in any relationship. When someone says “I love you”, they have to mean it. No relationship can be a long term happy affair if one of you doesn’t mean this when they say it.

The relationship doesn’t have to be based on a contract, you just need the spark to be sustained throughout. It has to stay as fresh as the first few weeks or months. If boredom has a chance of setting in, that’s when the relationship can break down. Keep the romance alive, continue to do the things that you do in the early days of your relationship. Leave little notes for your partner, and bring a gift when you arrive home from work.

If problems occur they have to be discussed as soon as possible. Letting something brew for a period of time will only magnify it. The sooner a problem is talked about the more chance you have of getting it resolved, then the relationship can continue.

Relationship commitment is a journey that will have it’s ups and downs, and many rewards at the same time. Nothing can be more satisfying than raising a family, and growing old with a loving partner. This is something the thrill chasers will surely miss out on, either by never committing to anything, or giving up just when it starts to get serious.

Need help from an expert? Meet the man who has been on Opera and has helped thousands in their relationships. Click here

Good and healthy relationships are created when people realize that differences make people and life interesting. Relationships work when people learn to base relationships on sharing. Truelove grows when people see each other as partners in life and not property, trophies or someone else who they are obsessed with.

Good and healthy relationships are created when people realize that differences make people and life interesting. Relationships work when people learn to base relationships on sharing. Truelove grows when people see each other as partners in life and not property, trophies or someone else who they are obsessed with.

Need help from an expert? Meet the man who has been on Opera and has helped thousands in their relationships. Click here